Take THAT, Fashion Expert

September 6, 2011 at 9:45 pm 2 comments

the creative process

“Fashion alchemist” Frida Giannini supplied her top 10 Things Every Woman Should Have for a recent column in Allure Magazine, and it made me realize that contrary to what you might think by looking at the above photo of my office desk, I am sorely lacking in the “things” department.

What does Frida have that I don’t? Well, there are the $1,800 riding boots. (Like you, Frida is reminded of her childhood riding lessons when she smells the leather of those boots.) The $30 lip gloss that has “no color.” The tube of sunscreen that will set you back $155. The $4,500 python-and-bamboo bag.

All the essentials.

But consider:

Number 1 on Frida’s list is a vintage David Webb ring. (For the record, Frida tells us she actually owns two, both from the late ’60s.) I, on the other hand, happen to own not one but approximately 35 earrings from the past 20 years that are missing a mate. That’s right, individual earrings of gold-plate, “precious” stones and silver-like materials dating back as far as 1990. And not a one of them is of any use or in any way stylish. Now if that’s not “things,” I don’t know what is.

Number 2: Levi’s, Wrangler and Lee jeans from the ’70s. I would absolutely still have leftover jeans from the ’70s if my mother hadn’t constantly been making me clean my closet. She likes to remind me of my habit of stashing away my Halloween candy in my closet, apparently with plans to savor it slowly throughout the year. Every year while I was at summer camp, she’d find the bag of stale, sad old Smarties and Tootsie Rolls and throw it away.

I don’t live with my mother any more, though, so that means there are all kinds of old (vintage!) clothes clogging up my closet. If big blazers with dusty shoulders from the early ’90s come back in style, I’m in business.

Number 5 on the list is a perfect manicure. Frida gets her nails done once a week, she tells us, because it’s “one of the first things I notice about a person.”

One of the first things I notice about a person is whether or not they have a made-up nonsensical profession like “fashion alchemist” or “social media expert.” And yet I call myself the “Chief Word Nerd” at my company, so I really have no room to talk.

What does this have to do with manicures? Nothing. A perfect manicure is one of those things I only seem to have for about 5 hours every 6 months. I can get the manicure; I just can’t seem to hold onto it. And as any Seinfeld fan knows, it’s the holding that’s the most important part. Point to Frida.

A Gucci felt hat with feathers lands at number 10 on the list. (I’m not kidding.) You may be surprised to learn that I don’t have a Gucci felt hat with feathers. However, I will always have the fantastic story of how we spent hours convincing the decorator we hired (and later fired for obvious reasons) when we moved to Nashville that a bed made of felt would be impractical, particularly considering we have a cat.

I may not have a be-feathered felt hat, but that’s one thing they can never take away from me and that, let’s face it, we can never have enough of: true tales of the ridiculous.


Entry filed under: fashion, Tales of the ridiculous, Useless information.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. susan  |  September 7, 2011 at 10:28 am

    The only smell that reminds me of my childhood is the 2nd hand smoke from my mom’s Virginia Slims….

    • 2. marlainkontheside  |  September 7, 2011 at 10:43 am

      Ah memories… Yes, it’s these kinds of stories that make us realize how truly relatable Frida is!


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